Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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