sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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