just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i think my tv is drunk
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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