i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
ok first of all what the fuck
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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