i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
