Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
