Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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