So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
