the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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