great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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