Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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