just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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