At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize