Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
