never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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