She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize