i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize