Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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