As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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