i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
