So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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