used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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