The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm at about main and main street
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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