Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
