dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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