True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
