things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
