I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
