i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize