I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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