Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
