guys are not supposed to queef...right?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
