It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
