the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize