ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
