Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
