I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dignity is for republicans.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
