If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
