i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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