Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
