Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
