its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
