Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
