you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
