Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
