is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My liver just had a heart attack.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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