You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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