The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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