just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
