im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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