Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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