so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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