Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
