Define "chronic" masturbator.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
