I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Randomize
