You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She told me I should be a condom model.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
