hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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