Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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