let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
