She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
