Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
