dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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